i think my tv is drunk
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
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