Got a toothbrush?
...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
Randomize
