so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
Randomize
