I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
Randomize
