we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
