How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
handjob tips. give me some.
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
Randomize
