I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
Randomize
