its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
Randomize
