So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
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