Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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