like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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