did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
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