shes about as inviting as chlamydia
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
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