I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
Randomize
