I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
Randomize