i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
I see more hoeing in ur future
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