shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
