HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
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