after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
I currently don't understand fingers.
Randomize
