I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
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