when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
My penis needs a shock collar
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
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