Taylor Swift is so right about you.
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
Randomize
