Hey man sorry I got all grabby
i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
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