so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
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