so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
Randomize
