i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
Randomize
