thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
