Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Guess who just stumbled into work hungover, wearing yesterday's clothes, covered in hickeys and glitter, and carrying a giant bottle of rum in her purse.
I just took plan B at work.
This is the greatest story of all time.
Randomize
