I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
Randomize
