How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
Randomize
