Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
I feel like a drive thru vagina
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
Randomize
