I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
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