i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
Randomize
