My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
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