he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
Randomize
