i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
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