If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
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