Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize