okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
I'm on tinder and every time somebody says something too creepy for me I start quoting scripture at them. My boobs are like missionaries.
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
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