he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
Randomize
