That's intense
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
Randomize
