I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
I'm drunk at a fancy martini bar, wearing jeans, drinking cheap vodka that I brought in my purse. Got thrown out of court for using my cell phone. All in all calling Thursday a success.
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
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