i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
Randomize