This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
Randomize
