Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
Randomize
