I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
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