His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
Can you bring me the toilet please
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
Randomize
