I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
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