I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
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