I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
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