when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
Randomize