are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
Randomize
