my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Randomize