Whoa Z and x make the same sound
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
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