I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
Randomize
