We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
Randomize
