Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
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