my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
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