I molested 6 butterflies tonight
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
Randomize