it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Randomize
