don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
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