If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
