It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
Randomize
