goodnight i made you a song goodbye
do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
Randomize
